13.44A melody can determine which extension to choose
Suppose you're on G7.
Melody = A.
A is 9.
So:
G9
is natural.
Melody = E.
E is 13.
So:
G13
makes sense.
Melody = A♭.
That's ♭9.
So:
G7♭9
may describe the sound.
The melody often tells you the chord extension automatically.